23 December 2009

How to open a soda bottle...without an opener

We drink a lot of soda here, and nearly all soda comes in the old-fashioned, reusable glass bottles. A problem that one frequently runs into is how to access said soda from said bottle without an opener.

Method 1: Teeth
In this extremely popular method, one hooks a bottom eye tooth (the pointy ones) under the ridge of the soda bottle and pulls away from the bottle creating a gap. One then readjusts same tooth into the wider gap and pulls up this time, releasing the seal and opening the bottle.
Pros: Your teeth are always available, and this method is nearly 100% effective.
Cons: Almost certain damage to your teeth over time, and if someone else is opening your soda for you, it's a little bit gross that your bottle top has been in his or her mouth.

Method 2: Another soda bottle
In this method, one uses another sealed soda to open the first by using the cap as a lever against the one being opened. This method is usually employed when opening an entire crate of sodas for a party.
Pros: Extremely quick and efficient
Cons: Takes some skill, and there is not always another soda available. Also, it shakes up the opener soda, and then how do you open the opener soda when you get to the end?

Method 3: Water bottle
This method is similar to the soda bottle method, except that one uses an empty water bottle. I have only ever seen one person pull this off with consistency, my co-worker Edwin.
Pros: Makes a loud popping sound and shoots the bottle cap into the air (I've been hit by these projectiles on several occasions.)
Cons: Specialized skill, there is not always an appropriate water bottle available

Method 4: Karate chop
I am fairly certain I learned this method from some former fraternity members, and I've never seen it done in Tanzania. In this method, one rests the edge of the bottle cap on the edge of a desk, window sill, coffee table, etc. (must be wood surface). One brings one's hand down on the top of the soda in a karate chop motion, and the force seperates the bottle from the cap.
Pros: Appropriate wood edges are commonly available, almost everyone has hands, makes you look tough
Cons: If you wuss out and don't hit the bottle with enough force, you'll just end up hurting yourself. I don't think this method is advisable for as often as Leah and I employ it, seeing as she recently gave herself a nasty bruise from hitting the bottle with the wrong part of her hand. I advised her to play through the pain, but she's still on the disabled list, so I'm opening both of our sodas these days.

Do you have an additional method for our consideration? Preferably one that does not involve permanent harm to teeth or bones?

Also, speaking of the disabled list, Leah and I were in a dala dala (minivan bus) on Monday, and I saw a man who looked a heck of a lot like someone famous. I pointed him out to Leah, and said "Is it just me, or does that look like Emmett Smith?" To my delight, Leah not only knew who Emmett Smith was, she also knew enough of what he looked like to agree with me. When the look-alike got off at a stop where there's a large guest house, we decided that we were right, although, of course, it's extremely unlikely that anyone famous in the States would ever vacation in Dodoma. Still, we can dream.

6 comments:

LexieJ said...

I've always had the most luck using another soda bottle.

However, you're right; there's not always one available. So I was about 50% successful with another method. We'll call it the "Yell and bang like crazy" method.

This method necessitates that you don't mind being mocked, looking foolish, and being unsuccessful in your endeavors occasionally. First one locates an object such as a table or hard plastic crate. Then one carefully tries to move the bottle in a downward fashion and quickly strike the edge of said object at the exact angle that will separate the bottle from its friend the lid. Usually I had the most luck angling the bottom of the bottle away from my body when bringing it down.

This method has mostly cons:
-you look foolish
-it only works 50% of the time
-you have to find a surface hard enough to work and soft enough that it won't break the top of your bottle (and really tick the vendor off due to the loss of the deposit)
-if the lid shoots off rather than just loosening enough to be pulled gently off, your soda may slosh all over your lap, leaving you with an amazing brown spot all day and depriving you of the lovely and refreshing soda which you have purchased.

Mostly cons. But give it a go sometime!

rawster said...

BTW I mailed your package. It should be there any day now, if it hasn't arrived already. And I should have enclosed one of those bottle opener key chains. I told Kevin that I should mail you a keychain since you have so many keys. He said that was ridiculous. Now I know. Next time I send a package I'll send you some of those flip-flops that have the bottle opener built into the bottom of the shoe. However, you wouldn't have as much fun trying all these random ways of opening bottles. Although, you might seriously impress some Africans if you can open a bottle with the bottom of your shoe (until they discover you've hidden a bottle opener there). Also, one time Kevin was using the karate chop method of bottle opening. He does that often, even though we have bottle openers. He broke the glass part of the bottle and cut his hand badly. So that's dangerous and is a tactic that is no longer employed in our household any longer. Be careful. It's a dangerous world out there.

Leisha said...

Gigantic kudos to Lexie and Rachelle for commenting on my blog and for your excellent advice.

Bottle openers said...

Hi
Your blog is very nice. I have really learnt a lot from this blog thanks

Anonymous said...

I've found another method, it involves a for prying off the cap the one problem it that it takes a while and it may cause damage to the fork and cap

Anonymous said...

Hi, I found this excellent idea, using a piece of paper, and a youtube video to demonstrate it. Save your hands, furniture and teeth. Check this out.
http://www.frankenmuthbrewery.com/blog/brewery/cool-ways-to-open-a-beer/

It has a few other ideas as well, good ones.