Can We Stop a Genocide?

On Monday evening I arrived in Kigali, Rwanda for the first time, and over the past two days I have been meeting the staff of ERM and the widows and vulnerable children they serve.  I've been in several homes and met so many widows who lost their husbands during the genocide of 1994 or in the aftermath of that tragedy.  

When I was in high school, I went through the Holocaust Museum in Washington, DC, and when I was in college I toured two memorial sites for the Cambodian genocide carried out by Pol Pot's government.  Today I visited yet another memorial to a genocide, and while I wandered through the Kigali Genocide Museum, fresh in my mind was a blog post from author Ann Voskamp about the experiences of Yazidi and Christian women and girls at the hands of ISIS.  I beg you to click the photo below and go read Ann's incredibly moving testimonies about women and girls who are being tormented, chased, raped, killed, sold, abandoned, widowed, orphaned, and are forced to make terrible decisions along the way.  The woman below had to choose between saving her newborn baby or her other child.  She has no idea where her son is. 

Every time a genocide happens, the world repeats that tired old lie: Never Again, but it is happening right now, and we are letting it happen.

The most infuriating part of the story of the Rwandan genocide is how the international community heard, but chose not to listen.  They looked, but chose not to see.  I have been doing the exact same thing regarding the plight of women and girls in the ISIS zone.  It isn't my mother or my daughter, but now I know that they are my sisters, and I have to do something...but what?  A few weeks ago I posted about this very concept, that not all the world's tragedies are my responsibility, but I cannot tell you the burden I feel over this situation.  At the end of Ann's post, she links to a non-profit called Preemptive Love which is helping women start businesses and putting their children back into school.  Those are both very worthy causes, but it doesn't satisfy me.  It is immediate, sustainable assistance for those who have already been victimized, and it may even prevent them from being further victimized in the future, but, especially as I sit here in Rwanda, I have to ask: How do we stop the genocide?  Will someone tell me how to help?  I want to be challenged to do something more than helping the victims; I want to be asked for a real sacrifice to prevent ISIS from continuing to spread evil.  I can't pick up a gun and join the Kurdish peshawars, but surely, surely there must be something that we average people with voices and passion and resources can do to not only care for widows and orphans, but to protect those women and children from the bereavement caused every day by the ISIS troops.  Let's put a stop to this genocide...somehow.

Photos from Sindo visit to Install Dani's Water Tank

Two weeks ago I asked for help to buy materials for a new bathroom for Fred's grandmother, Dani.  Within 24 hours, the project, along with repairs to Dorina's house, had been fully funded.  A few days later, Fred and the boys went up to Sindo, his home village, to complete the project.

Here's the new water tank.  You can see the rocky and hilly terrain around the house which caused her to fall and injure her chest a month ago.

This is the new bathing house, right next to the kitchen, at the same level as the house and kitchen, so she doesn't need to climb any more hills.

Dani had been so sick she couldn't leave bed before Fred arrived, but once he arrived and gave her some massage with eucalyptus oil and muscle balm, she slept more soundly than she had for months and rose refreshed.  Here she is modeling the new bathing tap with the boys.  This faucet will make it so that she doesn't have to carry buckets for her bathing water.

Before they could leave Sindo, the car needed some repairs.  That was a perfect chance for Wesley to get out his box of tools and "help" the mechanic, just as he had been "helping" the man who constructed the water tank frame and the bathing house.  Inno was just bored.

The Appeal of the Ready-Made Solution

First of all, thank you so much to the friends who paid for Dorina's house and Dani's water tank.  There was a contractor at Dorina's house yesterday to come up with a bill of quantity for materials. Today Fred and the boys are going up to Kenya to install Dani's new water tank.  The plan was to wait until the weekend, but Fred got a call yesterday that his grandmother is very ill, so they are rushing up to see her and do the plumbing work for a new toilet and bathing area for her. By next week's blog post, I'll likely have photos of both completed projects!

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I've been reviewing past partnerships for Lahash, and I realized something as I was analyzing some work we did with a primary school in Kenya.  That partnership was incredibly successful in terms of attracting donors and advocates from around the world, and I was trying to figure out why.  They weren't particularly good at sending pictures or telling stories of the kids, but they had a plan that made sense: they were teachers and they wanted to run a school.  It seems simple, but it's not always that way.

People who represent donors (like me) hear a lot ideas.  We read funding requests for schools and orphanages and guest houses and huge farming projects from people who have never taught or taken care of children or guests or farmed more than a garden.  Often there's a really good case for the need the idea is meant to meet, but the deeper one looks into the project, the less it seems a good idea.  Usually the idea comes from something that was successful somewhere else, and it turns out to be a bad fit for the proposing organization.

I'm realizing that this concept has some personal applications as well.  How often do I look around my life and feel unsatisfied?  I wish I could be a better mother or have a more organized home or make more money or spend more time in prayer and the Scripture.  When I identify a need in my life, I tend to want a ready-made solution.  I want to teach my toddler to pray, so I research all the best ways to make a lifelong disciple of Jesus out of a tiny little boy, but the things that have been successful for other people are not necessarily going to work for my family and my little boy.

So what's the right way to go about making a change or trying something new?

• Play to your strengths.
  We are not a scheduled family.  Every single day is different for us, so if I try to implement a certain time each day to do X Y or Z, it's not going to happen.  However, we're really good at grabbing spare moments and living life in seasons, so I have to consider that in any plans I make for us.
  
• Make a reasonable plan.
  It never works to try to change the world from the first step.  The best long-term plans always seem to have moderate, reasonable, scale-able starting points with middle- and long-term steps toward a large vision.  It's nothing terribly glamorous, but it works.
  
• Stick to it.
  This is a reminder I need all the time, because I'm a master procrastinator and I get bored easily with repetitive routine.  Sticking to a plan based on my strengths and goals is the key to making it through the dull or difficult times.
  
• Don't recreate the wheel.
  Creativity is great, but so are best practices.  The best ideas are adaptations of what is proven to work.  "There is nothing new under the sun" but there are creative new twists on solid, proven ideas.

Nothing I've written in this post is all that innovative, but writing a post every Thursday is part of a routine that is important, regardless of whether I have something brilliant to say or not.  Anyway, this is what I've been thinking about lately.

Trouble Sleeping Due to the State of the World?

I have to confess: I've been avoiding news about Nepal.  I can't bring myself to keep up on the mortality rate, the level of destruction, the numbers displace, injured and missing.  The scope of the tragedy is too big for me to deal with.  Maybe you feel the same: overwhelmed, saddened, disoriented...helpless.

A few years ago I realized that my heart is not designed to carry all the burdens of the world, and neither is yours.  The area I'm called to care about, work toward and advocate for is the state of women in rural Africa.  I don't want to detract from a compassionate response to the situation in Nepal, but if you have some room in your heart and your pocketbook for two women in rural Africa, please keep reading.

Mama Dorina lives on the road between Shirati and one of the Mama Maisha villages, and in the recent heavy rains, part of the wall of her house washed away.  She is a widow and her only daughter died without having children, so this woman is alone in the world.  During the night the wall fell in on her while she was sleeping and hurt her legs.  Now she is sleeping in a corner of her neighbor's home.  Our friend Stephen told us about the situation, and we asked him to go take some photos.   

Then I had the following conversation:
Wesley: Where is the camera going?
Me: Stephen is going to take some photos of a house.
Wesley: Whose house?
Me: A grandmother whose house fell down.
Wesley: Dani's house fell down?! (Dani is Fred's grandmother.)
Me: No, not Dani, someone else's grandmother.
Wesley: Can we fix her house?
Me: Yeah, how should we do that?
Wesley: We call Machumu (our favorite taxi driver) to come and get us and take us with my tools.
Me: Then you'll fix her house?
Wesley: Yeah.  Call Machumu.

If only it were that easy!  Actually, it almost is that easy. Somehow she had saved up in the past several years to replace the thatched grass roof with iron sheets, but the mud bricks were eroded over time by driving rain and weakened the wall.  In order to get her back into her home, volunteers need to lift the roof off the house, rebuild the broken section, replace the door, mix cement and cement over the outside of all the walls to prevent future erosion. All these things can be done for $250, especially right now while the exchange rate for the American dollar is so high but the prices haven't gone up yet.



The other woman we would like to help is Dani, our grandmother up in Fred's home village in Kenya.  A few weeks ago 85-year-old Dani fell trying to reach the outdoor bathroom, which is up a small, rocky hill.  She has had trouble walking for some years, and we would like to rearrange the bathing and toilet facilities to the same level as her house so that she wouldn't be climbing hills anymore.  It is mostly manual labor, which can be done by Fred and some others, but we would like to add a $150 water tank to simplify bathing for her.  Right now she has to have someone carry a bucket of water for her, which is not an ideal situation.

Perhaps the tug on your heart is to help one of these women.  Unfortunately, we don't have time to go through tax deductible channels, which would take at least six weeks.  However, if you would like to write a check to Leisha Adams and mail it to 18009 NE Hillside Dr, Newberg, OR 97132, we could have that money in hand within one week, or if you click below to give to us directly on Paypal (send to email address fredandleisha@gmail.com).

If Nepal is tugging at your heart, you can do some similar, direct impact, low overhead giving by going to Helping Nepal.  My friend Dayn happens to be on the ground in Kathmandu, Nepal with a YWAM team, so they have been able to take donations through the website and translate that immediately and fully into shelter for people displaced by the earthquake.

Either way, whether you help out widows in Africa or families displaced in Nepal, you can sleep better knowing that you, personally, are helping someone else sleep better on the other side of the world.

UPDATE: Thank you so much!  All the money for both women has been donated within a few hours of the post!  If you would still like to give, please give to the Nepal team or you can continue to give to us and we will help other women and families in need of housing assistance.

Mama Maisha Partners with Mennonite Central Committee!

Of course I forgot to take any picture at all, but earlier this week Mama Maisha has been hosting Tiffanee Wright, the Health Coordinator for Tanzania Mennonite Central Committee (MCC).  MCC approved a proposal we wrote to supply hygienic delivery kits to Traditional Birth Attendants and delivering mothers.

We're so excited to roll out this project.  The first thing will be doing a training for the Traditional Birth Attendants to teach them the principles of clean hands, clean perineum, clean delivery surface, clean cord cutting instruments, clean cord tying instrument and clean cutting surface, then we'll train them and give them supplies to support women who cannot reach a health facility at the time of delivery.

We will also have funds to put together individual kits for women who may not reach a health facility with skilled care.  Two months ago I wrote about a visit to one of our villages which has no health facility, and we were emptying our pockets to find soap and razor blade and fare for a motorcycle taxi to a TBA.  In the future, it would be so great for us to be able to have a bunch of kits with the TBAs and our MHAs and the nurse we hired to go out to do village prenatal care.

We had a great time in Nyambogo village Wednesday with Tiffanee, and yesterday we signed a Memorandum of Understanding for the project.  We're excited about the opportunity to partner with such a great organization!

The Natural Habitat of a Work-At-Home Mom

When I post anything about what daily life is like for our family, people are really interested, so today as I read the item "Weekly Blog Post" on my to-do list, my gaze strayed over the chaos of my desk, and I thought "Do all moms who work from home exist in this kind of chaos?"  

Actually, what I thought was "Do all moms who...WESLEY, no more lollipops!...work from home...Inno, this doesn't look like a good TV show, go play outside...exist in this kind of...No, Adera, I don't have cash to buy a fish right now, so just cook rice and beans..chaos?"

Fortunately I have always been an incorrigible multi-tasker, so I can actually be pretty productive in spite of my environment, but here is a little tour of my work space, aka The Natural Habitat of a Work-At-Home Mom.

1.  Photo of me with two girls I sponsored through Lahash when I was pregnant with Wesley
2.  Photo of me with Lahash staff and partners in March 2012 when Wesley was a tiny infant
3.  Photo of one of my nieces  (Note: if you mail me photo prints, they go up on the walls in our house!)
4.  Postcard from the Redwood Forest, one of the most awe-inspiring places I've ever been
5.  Poem by Persian poet Hafiz
6.  Promotional card for Mama Maisha
7.  Tiny slip of paper with the payment information for our satellite TV service that was always getting lost until I taped it to the wall
8.  Photo of my extended family taken last January
9.  Reminders from Gretchen Rubin's book Happier at Home, things like "Work Smart" and "Enthusiasm is more important than ability"
10. Quotes from Tina Fey and Jane Austen cut out of an "O" magazine
11. Laptop on which the Office programs are actually working
12. Laptop, on which Office programs are not working, but where all my documents are saved
13. Kindle Fire, on which I listen to stuff or read while I wait for things to download or for the power to come back on
    What I'm listening to: "The Civil Wars" album by Civil Wars
                                        "Title" album by Meghan Trainor
                                        Relevant podcast
                                        Slate Political podcast
                                        Pop Culture Happy Hour podcast
    What I'm reading: Keeping Your Child in Mind by Claudia M. Gold, M.D.
                                  God and the Gay Christian by Matthew Vines
                                  The Skeletons in God's Closet by Joshua Ryan Butler
                                 
14. My blank book, in which I have meeting notes and lists of things to do
15. Box of lollipops
16. My to-do list with four categories:
             1st priority Support Raising (e.g. Thank you gifts for donors)
             2nd priority Lahash work (e.g. Check on implementation of Discipleship Plan)
             3rd priority Mama Maisha work (e.g. Translate disclaimer into Luo)
             4th priority Personal Items (e.g. Put laundry away)
17. Phone...I instituted a policy that I can only check Facebook on my phone so that I don't get distracted from important work
18. Gretchen's current favorite book, which she carries over to me multiple times a day to read a goodnight prayer out of
19. Boys' dietary supplement, another thing which apparently lives on my desk so that it doesn't get lost

Of course there is the additional detritus, like the wireless modem, printer, Fred's meeting notes for me to type up, a Discman (see no. 19), etc.  All these things are apparently essential to have close at hand in order to get work done for whatever reason.  Hmm...maybe I need to add "Organize work space" to my lowest priority list...I could probably get to that in, oh, July?

P.S. Happy fourth anniversary to my beloved husband!  I'll try to change the sheets, get the kids' toys put away, and get Wesley to put pants on by the time you get home from work, because I know these things will bless you.  (Welcome to romance for parents of little ones!)

Things I have been interrupted during the writing of this blog post to do:

- Move to the bedroom to concentrate.

- Return to the desk to adjust the internet so that it reaches the bedroom.

- Help Gretchen up onto the bed.

- Buy airtime to reply to a text message from Fred.

- Help Gretchen off the bed.

- Remind Wesley that my bed is not where an empty juice box goes.

- Help Gretchen up onto the bed.

- Admire Gretchen's shoe "SHOO! SHOO!".

- Take Gretchen to Adera.

- Negotiate a lollipop dispute between the boys

- Admire a photo of a lollipop taken on my phone by Wesley

- Assure Wesley that the bathroom spray smells nice

- Investigate why Wesley is naked from the waist down

- Receive gifts from a friend who is moving back to Holland tomorrow

- Chat with the Mama Maisha prenatal clinic nurse

The Second-Born Never Gets As Much Attention

I am the oldest of three, and I have a large photo album of the pictures taken during my first year of life.  Then, when I was 15 months old, my sister was born, and the photos of that time period reduced significantly.  Then, 13 months after that, my brother was born, and I think there might be half a dozen surviving photos from the time Roy was born until we were school-aged.  It's a pretty common experience, but I was hoping (naively) to break that trend.  Of course, then I realized that I have far fewer photos and far fewer updates about my little girl than I ever did for Wesley.  So here's a tribute post to my co-female in the family.

Gretchen sporting a yogurt goatee

Gretchen is a super cheerful 14-month-old, who is at a really fun stage of development.  She is very active, wandering around from activity to activity, dancing on her tiptoes, and very social.  She's been trying to talk for several months, with jibberish replies for everything people said to her.  Now she's added a few real words: juice "joos", peekaboo "peekboo", shoes "shoo", no "ah-ah", power "pawah", down "don", dog "daw", and Dora "doh".  As is usual, she understands far more than she can say, and she recognizes chickens and cows in the yard.  Dogs and cats are her favorite, though.

The kids going for a *short* ride around the house with Stephen

She loves her brothers, and she's a big favorite with them as well.  Of course she and Wesley have occasional spats when sharing doesn't come naturally, but kisses and hugs are just as common as squawking and snatching.  When Inno came home from school a few days ago, Gretchen was so excited to see him!  She's sitting on my lap making motorcycle noises as she looks at this photo.  She has the best appetite of any of the kids right now.

Fred and Gretchen playing in the waves of Lake Victoria

 She's very much a daddy's girl, and whenever Fred comes home from work she runs toward the door saying "Daddy!  Daddy!"  She also loves looking at the family photos on the walls and on the computers to pick out Daddy.  Most of the day she spends with "Dera" (Adera) washing dishes or washing clothes or sitting outside talking to the neighbors.  She also loves moving every shoe in the house from one room to another, and wandering around having pretend conversations on anything resembling a cell phone.  (Her conversations sound remarkably like the tones of my cell phone conversations, except without words!)

Can't forget her favorite word: cheeeeese!