Sometimes I hit a wall...

...and I run out of words for this blog.  This has been the case in recent weeks, as I keep thinking "I need to update the blog!  I have so much to share!" and then as soon as I log onto the site, my mind goes blank.  Then I got an idea from a blog I read occasionally (Domestic Serenity) for a format that I can use to beat the blanks!  So here we go!

In my life this week:     We had a really busy week of dinners with friends and supporters and potential supporters.  This slew of events happened to coincide with Wesley teething, but he was a trooper and an angel.  He dealt with the late nights really well.

In our work/ministry:     A Lahash team just took off for two weeks in Uganda to have a camp with the kids at Amazing Grace Children's Home, and my other two co-workers who are not on that trip are traveling with family, so I'm manning (woman-ing?) the Lahash house on my own for a few days this week.  Although it's quiet and lonely without Katie, Dan and Casey, I get a lot done when I'm not being distracted by all the silliness and collective brainstorming.  Since I work alone from home so much when I'm in Africa, it's nice to have co-workers, but on days like today, when I just need to bang out a number of things on my to-do list, it's good not to have distractions (aside from the standard distractions that happen in the mind of a perpetual multi-tasker.)  Fred has been working on a concept note for continuing the palliative care program in Shirati, a program he really cares about.  We've also been doing the difficult, but important work of raising support to enable us to continuing doing the work and ministry that we enjoy and are passionate about.  It's rewarding to meet up with so many people who care about us and are interested in our work, but I really struggle to bring the "Ask" to a friendly dinner meeting.  I need to get better at giving people the opportunity to partner with us financially.  (GIVE to the Otienos --Lahash Staff, Leisha (Adams) Otieno)

I'm being inspired by:     A ministry called She's My Sister which trains pastors and lay leaders in sub-saharan Africa to provide Scripture-based lay counseling to traumatized and/or grieving people.  The opportunity to work with She's My Sister has been building for some time as Fred was trained to train others to do the counseling work, then we got a chance to meet with the American leadership for the program when we first came to the States two months ago.  Since that time I've been talking with many people about the exciting opportunity we have to be involved with starting this ministry in Tanzania, on the side of the other work we're doing.  The initial meeting we had in Washington, DC was so encouraging and inspiring, and in many ways I see God using this ministry to open new chapters in my personal story.

My favorite thing this week was:     I could use this opportunity to say something soft like "the blessing of friendship" or "my adorable kiddo" or "my wonderful husband".  All of those things are true...I mean, look at these handsome guys!  However, me being me, I'm going to say that my favorite thing this week was the Captain Neon burger I had at McMenamin's.  Captain Neon burgers were a craving I had during my pregnancy, along with Burger King double cheeseburgers and mustard, so it was great to finally satisfy that year-long craving.  It helped that the burger was accompanied by lots of laughter with Seth and Rachel Reeser and Matt and Corrine Haning.

I've been thinking:     A year ago I blogged about thinking about Christmas and missing all the trappings of an American Christmas, but struggling at the same time to cling to the "reason for the season" as they say.  Now that I get to experience an American Christmas, I am torn between my idealistic self (Advent Conspiracy, Jesus-only celebration) and the undeniable urge to go get Wesley's picture taken on Santa Claus' lap.  I've actually found that in a disturbing number of areas the ideals I held as a slightly-self-righteous, slightly-superior single person have been sagging under a new found...pragmatism, shall we call it? Now that I have a husband and a child, I feel the appeal of a large, suburban, impeccably decorated home or a Pinterest-worthy Christmas tree with loads of presents underneath.  I find myself snatching the cheap Johnson's baby shampoo off the shelf while trying to stifle the voice in the back of my mind that says "didn't I read something about a terrible chemical in this stuff and how I should make my own baby shampoo?"  Ditto that message regarding baby food, formula, fast food, children's clothes and toys, etc.  Yet, despite that echo and despite access to so many resources to actually make all my own everything, I would rather watch The Voice than learn to knit socks for my family.  Sorry, idealistic 20-something Leisha, it turns out we get baby food in plastic containers at Walmart now, even though we feel terrible about it.

Things I'm working on:     I'm figuring out Christmas presents for husband, son, parents, brother, sister-in-law and niece.  Also, I'm apparently working on storing up fat for another two years of African hibernation.  (Gained 12 pounds in two months and counting!)

I'm reading:     Very atypically for me, I'm about one chapter into four different books.  I never, ever read like this, but for some reason my attention span has gone the way of my waistline.  So, the books I'm reading are: Respectfully Yours by Dr. Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs (a study on respecting my husband), Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin, Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot, and After the Funeral by Agatha Christie.  I'll give you one guess as to which book will be finished by the next time I make this list.  (Hint: it's the only work of fiction on that list.)

I'm grateful for:     I'm actually enjoying the cool, grey days of an Oregon autumn.  I do miss the sun, and I'm sure I'll be really happy to go back to warmer weather, but it's probably upward of 100°F in Shirati these days, so I don't mind the excuse to wear coats and fleece.  I realize most of you probably aren't quite busting out your mittens yet, but if your typical "cold day" were about 70°F, you'd be wearing wool coats, too.

Highlights of October - Part One (with photos!)

Unfortunately it's been more than a month since I've posted here.  We're safe and sound and settled in Newberg with my parents, and it's past time for me to update!  Here is the first part of our month:

 1 October - Shirati to Rondo - a small town in Kenya, where we met Fred's grandmother, aunt, cousin and niece.  This was the first time I've seen Fred's family since our first, memorable meeting last year.  It was really nice to see them and they doted on Wesley.

3 October - Nairobi to Dubai - After a morning packed with last minute things, we took a taxi to the airport and boarded a plane to Dubai.  We were seated in the bulkhead row, which they had arranged to be family central.  There was a French family with a 2-year-old next to us and a Kenyan mom with an 18-month-old across the aisle.  I highly, highly recommend Emirates to anyone traveling with kids.  They treated us so well, and even took a Polaroid of our family for the "Baby's First Flight" page of our (non-existent) baby book.  Wesley did so well!

4 October - Dubai to Washington, DC - We flew in a half-empty plane from Dubai to Dulles airport, each lounging in our own row.  We sailed through customs, refreshed ourselves in the airport bathrooms and hopped into a taxi to the offices of She's My Sister, a program of American Bible Society.  A 45-minute scheduled meeting stretched into more than two hours.  Although we were just off of a 14-hour flight, it was one of those experiences that just seemed entirely directed by God.  I'll write more about what may develop out of that meeting another time, but it was a very encouraging time.  They paid for a taxi for us to our hotel, where we got food and fell into exhausted sleep.

5 October - Washington, DC - Super tourists!  We spent the morning going around national sights: White House, Washington Monument, Lincoln Memorial, various war memorials, the new Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial (our favorite), and a tour of the U.S. Capitol building.  We enjoyed a late lunch with our friend Sarah, who has moved to DC for school; then we returned to our hotel and collapsed again.  Fred and Wesley had jet lag, which made them go to sleep for the night at 5pm.  I, on the other hand, wasn't falling asleep until past midnight.

6 October - Washington to Harrisburg, PA - My former Dodoma roommate, Leah, lives in Virginia, and she and a friend drove up and took us out to lunch.  That was such a great time of catching up, and ended with them dropping us off at Union Station to catch our train to Philadelphia.  After a short layover in Philadelphia, we caught a train to Harrisburg, Pennsylvania to meet a friend who is connected to Shirati.

7 October - Harrisburg, PA - Out of the four families we interacted with on this day, three were cross-cultural couples: two white American men married to Tanzanian women and one Kenyan man married to a white American woman.  (The fourth was an unmarried American man who had lived in Shirati so long that if he had ever married, it probably would have been to a Tanzanian.)  We had a number of great, encouraging conversations and really enjoyed our time with them.

8 October - Harrisburg, PA to Portland, OR - We took a train from Harrisburg back to Philadelphia, and had four hours to kill before going to the airport.  We checked in with the senior citizens who run the "Traveler's Aid" desk at the Philadelphia train station, and they gave us the details for getting over to the historic district, where we wandered around looking at statues and the Liberty Bell.  Eventually we headed to the airport and boarded a plane to Denver.  The only empty seat on this expected-to-be-full flight was next to us!  We boarded a flight from Denver to Portland, during which our seatmate was an extremely kind man who didn't even mind when I changed Wesley's wet diaper in my lap while we taxied to the terminal.  My parents and grandparents were waiting with a balloon and hugs, and it just so happened that Wesley was wearing a shirt that matched his grandpa's shirt!  (I would post a photo, but I haven't tracked down my grandma's camera yet to get her photos.)

Coming soon...Highlights of October - Part Two and Adjusting to America

Can we drive to America?

It's too bad we can't drive, because this guy is ready to go!

 

The past ten days or so have been pretty quiet on the Facebook/blog from our side because Fred and I were on the road, although going different directions.  We went the first leg together, then he headed off to Kigali, Rwanda for a follow-up training in trauma and grief counseling.  He was certified as a facilitator for counseling by the American Bible Society.  He went to the first part of this training back in February when we were waiting for our little guy to arrive, and this trip happened at Wesley's half-birthday.  We spent the day on the road to Dodoma, where Wesley and I were going to attend a Lahash retreat.

After a relaxing three days of Dodoma sun (and breeze--it's the cold time of year), good fellowship with the Angotes and Will Campbell, fabulous food, meditation on justice, mercy and hope, and afternoon naps, I feel energized and renewed for a new season of work.  Actually, the work started right away, as I had a meeting with Mama Askofu Muhagachi, the director of GHMD, about the ways that the Higher Education Program will benefit the students in her program.  Although more information will be coming in future months, one of the first candidates for a university scholarship from Lahash will be someone I have sponsored for the past five years, Baraka Kibiro.  He's starting his national exams, which are comparable to SATs in America, in a few weeks.

 

Wesley and I spent a couple of extra days in Dodoma for meetings, shopping and watching episodes of "New Girl" (It's Jess!) on Will's computer.  From Dodoma, we went on to the town of Shinyanga, which is the location of a potential new Lahash partner, Path of Hope.  I reviewed some exciting proposals with the director of Path of Hope, and Wesley exhibited the best of his charms and tricks for her.  The director, Mama Askofu Nyakyema, and I have a lot in common, although we're a generation apart, not least of which is that we're American women married to Luo men.  She's like a stand-in grandma, and Wesley had fun practicing eating grown-up food with her.

We all got home yesterday after good trips, and we are happy to be together again.  Wesley has been showing Fred how well and how much he can eat, how he "walks" (taking steps while being supported upright), how ticklish he's become, his almost-breaking-through tooth buds and how he's learning a little independence.  He doesn't have to be held every single moment and he has even become friendly with new people!  Fred and Wesley have been together almost every moment since we met up yesterday, making noises and faces at each other.

 

We are buying plane tickets this week, and hope to be arriving back in the States in 17 days!  Watch this blog for more information about our timeframe and events to hear about our work in East Africa.

Family Doings

Wesley helping Fred check his Facebook

September finds us all shifting in high gear for the coming month, especially as we prepare to come to the States in October for a few months ($875 still to raise!).

Innocent - After a month of leave, Innocent is going back to school for his final term of kindergarten.  He's lucky (or unlucky, depending on one's perspective) to be at a private school, since Kenyan government teachers are on strike.  Since he loves school, he's glad his teachers are not on strike.  He'll also be turning seven this month!

Samuel Wesley - Our little man is coming up on six months old, and it seems like he's decided to skip crawling and try for walking.  He's not very interested in being on his stomach, but he loves to practice standing.  He only needs a little bit of help balancing, then he'll be trying to walk in no time!

Leisha - This weekend I'll be going to Dodoma for a Lahash staff retreat with the Angote family and Will C.  I'm excited to see my co-workers and to eat some pizza and Chinese food.  I also hear there's a new coffee shop in town that I haven't had a chance to check out yet.  I'll also stop in Shinyanga to visit some friends on my way back.  Then I'll be working on packing and ticking off the many items on our to-do list before leaving.

Fred - Fred continues his role of master traveler this month.  He will take Innocent back to school, then the next day take Wesley and me to Mwanza (halfway to Dodoma), and will spend all of next week in Kigali, Rwanda at a training for grief and trauma counseling.  He gets back to Shirati with 14 days to conduct a palliative care training and get all of his various programs to a good point for him to leave.

In other news: We thought we finally had all our immigration documents in proper order for all of our family members.  This wasn't an easy task: Tanzanian residence permits for all three of us, Kenyan and American passports for the baby, Kenyan residence permit for me and American visa for Fred meant dealing with three different governments, each with different rules and different levels of efficiency.  Anyway, we thought we were all legal and finally done with paying for visas and permits and passports, when the Tanzanian government decided to invalidate all residence permits for foreigners.  At first we thought we have to pay the $550 fee for my permit again (after just paying it in April), but a friend in the Tanzanian immigration department assured us that we just have to do the paperwork, as long as it is done before December 31st.  Of course this means we have had to get our resumes, letters of recommendation, passport photos and applications all together and submitted ASAP so that we get the permits before we leave for the States.

Literally days after finding out that we have to reapply for the Tanzanian permits, I was refused entry to Kenya on my spouse's permit.  Apparently the Kenyan government had passed a new immigration law which requires me to have an additional pass in addition to my spouse's permit.  It didn't cost much, but required Fred going up to Nairobi to get it for me.  It also disrupted our plans to go see Fred's grandmother and aunt, so they still haven't had a chance to meet Wesley, which was disappointing to all of us.  We're trying to arrange travel plans so that we can see them on our way to the airport in October.  Ah, Africa!  You don't make anything easy, do you?

Bring me (and my parents) to America

I got my U.S. passport today, which means I'm ready to throw some diapers in a bag and come to America to visit! 

$1500 pledged, $2000 still to go.  Donate at www.lahash.org/give.

"You kids get off my lawn!"

My brother and I used to tease our mom about being the "mean" neighborhood lady.  She would get really annoyed about things that seemed so petty to Roy and I, like our neighbors' friends parking in front of our house or the neighbors flicking their cigarette butts into the overgrown wilderness behind the house.  She simply couldn't explain to our satisfaction why it mattered where our neighbor's dog pooped.

Mom, I owe you an apology.  I understand now.

I've written before about my frustrations with Shirati townspeople violating the sanctity of our home environment, but lately I've become convinced that people here are determined to drive me out of town.  In the past two weeks (two weeks only), all of these things have happened:
          - People pasturing their cows, goats and chickens in our yard
          - Neighbor kids stealing our garbage
          - A mentally ill man stole out of our garbage
          - Local grade schoolers  and neighbor kids sneaking into our backyard to steal fruit, breaking limbs off the trees to get to it.  The neighbor kids know they're not supposed to take fruit off the trees, and their grandmother knows we don't want them taking fruit, but when Fred went over to reiterate with her after chasing the kids off for the umpteenth time, he found her eating our fruit.
          - Two little girls snuck away from a church program to use our trees as a toilet
          - A man used the bushes between our house and the road as a toilet
          - A woman brought her small child to use our back yard as a toilet (sensing any themes?)
          - An old man, who has been warned seven or eight times, returned to steal more wood from our fence.  Every time he gets caught, he says "forgive me, forgive me" while he continues to pull posts out of the ground or break boards.
          - Eight high schoolers used the gap in our fence to come through to where I was sitting on the back porch with the baby, and they proceeded to make fun of the baby, thinking I couldn't understand them.
           - Actually, every time I go outside, foot traffic on the road slows as every child walking by shouts "mzungu" hoping to get my attention. (Seriously?  I've lived here for more than a year.  Get over it!)

Now this week, the straw that breaks the camel's back...

The local church, which is across the road from our house, is having a women's conference this week.  They're having it under tarps in the field, and they started the week by cutting down every dead or semi-dead or "expendable" tree in the compound, including at our house.  (This has been done several times over the years without replanting at all, so a compound that was one full of lovely mature fruit trees is now relatively barren.)  Yesterday the conference opened, and it suddenly occurred to the pastor that the kitchen staff would need a place to sleep if they were to stay for night prayers and have tea ready in the morning, so he asked Fred if all the kitchen staff could stay at our house.  Aside from the inconvience of housing and expense of providing bath water to a bunch of women we don't know, bringing a whole bunch more women around to advise me on how to care for my son was not an appealing prospect.  Then the conference kicked off last evening with "night prayers" which started around 7pm and lasted until after 10pm.  As with most of the African church services I've attended, they crank the sound system to maximum volume.  There are no noise pollution laws, so the pastors take that as the Lord's invitation into as many homes and businesses as subwoofers can reach.  Since ours is the second-closest house, we are getting the full effect of the services resonating through our house, including the extensive prayer times.  (For all the Swahili speakers out there: "TOKA katika JINA la JESU!!!  MOTO, MOTO, MOTO!!!")

Even worse, though, was that these night prayers are an excuse for every adolescent with nothing better to do (aka all of them) to gather.  Around 9:30pm last night I was in our bedroom trying to get the baby to sleep when I heard a big group pass by on the road.  Our room is about a dozen feet from the road, so I distinctly heard another kid run through under our window and jump out to scare the group on the road.  Then they set off some kind of firecracker or something, which caused me to jump and the baby to cry.  Fred went out the front door, but didn't see anyone.  Then I saw a couple of young men in the back yard, so Fred went around to the back and chased them away.  The whole encounter was brief, but unsettling for me, especially since the conference is lasting until Sunday and Fred is leaving on a trip tomorrow.

In every single one of these events, when we have confronted someone to stop their behavior (or theft) they look at us completely unperturbed.  The general attitude seems to be that we are the unreasonable ones for not wanting animal and human feces in our yard.  We are un-African for having a fence and not wanting strangers to steal it for firewood.  We are ungenerous for not allowing random strangers to break limbs off of the trees for the unripe fruit at the top or to rummage in our garbage.  We are inhospitable for not opening our doors to a group of strangers on two hours' notice.  (Okay, I'll give them that one.)  People have told Fred that we are considered "mean."  I haven't been the "mean girl" since I ostracized Stacey Springstead for no good reason in 6th grade.  (I still feel bad about that, Stacey!)  This all makes me feel like a bad person and a bad Christian and a bad "missionary" (although I'm not really a missionary).

Part of the difference in perception is cultural, but I've run some of these things past Africans and long-term white people, and they agree that we're not totally unreasonable.  These events all coming together at once have made me really, really ready for a visit to the States.  Thank you to those who have already pledged or contributed for our airfare fund!  Now, I'm off to change an extremely pungent diaper before that problem starts to spread. 

Don't be a Bystander

I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head, so many blog posts I've been planning to write, although with a little guy who requires a lot of my time, energy and nutrients, typing anything requires more attention (and fingers) than I usually have available.  At present there is one thing really pressing on my mind.

I recently read the book The Tipping Point by Malcom Gladwell, and it sparked a lot of thoughts, but one concept was particularly intriguing to me: the bystander problem.  As explained in the book, studies have shown that the more people who are aware of a problem, the less likely it is that any one person will act.  For example, in one study, a person staged an epilptic seizure inside a room.  When one person was outside the door and heard the sounds, that person rushed to help 85% of the time, but when the listener thought there were four others also listening, the person responded only 31% of the time.  If someone else is aware of the need, one assumes that person will respond if the need is really great.  I suspect that the internet enhances the bystander problem, since we become aware of so much more need and grief and trauma in the world and the potential audience is virtually infinite, so there are many other people we assume will respond instead.

So, to apply this concept in the life of my family...
I know there are many, many people who read this blog and who really appreciate the work that Fred and I are involved in.  Many of you have been so generous over the years, in your attention, prayers, gifts and finances, and God has used that generosity to bring us through every difficulty.  At the moment we are facing a financial hurdle we need your help to overcome.  We are planning a trip back to the States for visiting and fundraising, but we need help paying for the plane tickets.  We're hoping to visit from the end of September through the end of January

We will be most grateful to anyone who can help us out.  The total we need to raise for two round-trip tickets is $3800.  There are two ways you can give:
               - through Lahash (www.lahash.org/give - tax-deductible), mentioning Leisha Adams
              - by getting a check made out to Leisha Adams to my parents (4800 SW Griffith Dr Ste 104, Beaverton, OR 97005 - not tax-deductible)

Our plans include time in
      Washington, DC  (late Sept and late Jan)
           Fayetteville, NC  (late Sept)
                Philadelphia, PA  (early Oct)
                     Portland, OR   (Oct-Jan)
                          Astoria, OR  (Oct)
                               Seattle, WA  (Nov or Dec)
                                    Spokane, WA  (Nov or Dec)
                                         Whitefish, MT  (Nov or Dec)
                                               and other cities are possible if we get - invites and finances permitting.

If you are reading this, please don't be a bystander.  We'd really like to come back to the States for a rest and for everyone to meet the baby and in order to do some fundraising for causes that we are involved in here.  If you can give some money or are willing to do a fundraiser for us, please do so.  Please don't assume that someone else will take care of it.  We greatly appreciate it!